Saturday, October 4, 2008

I can't read these picturebooks without tearing up

Dog Heaven by Cynthia Rylant
Someday by Alison McGhee
The Velveteen Rabbit by Margaret Williams
Before You Were Mine by Maribeth Boelts
Love You Forever by Robert Munsch

Do you have any? Please share!

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Monday, September 22, 2008

Where's your mom?

Since when is it acceptable for children to make huge messes in a place of business. I honestly want to know the exact moment that retailers lost their backbone. Was it the McDonald's coffee lady? (What, my coffee's hot and could burn my crotch?!) I really am curious. Will it ever go back the other way? Will we be able to state what should be obvious and tell someone their behavior is inappropriate because what they're doing can more accurately be called vandalism or theft? If I went into a clothing store like, the Gap, I wouldn't put on some clothes and wear them around the store all day then take them off, leave them on the floor and let others walk all over them. That would be ridiculous. But replace "put on" with "read", "clothes" with "books", "wear" with "spread", and "take them off" with "not put them away" and you have exactly what happens every single day. UGH!

Why do we allow people to abuse our store and why aren't I allowed to tell someone they are damaging that book past the point of it being saleable without the fear of a higher-up coming down on me?
It isn't okay to break the spine of a book you haven't purchased.
It isn't okay to do the crossword in the NYTimes without buying the paper.
It isn't okay to slobber on a stuffed animal you have no intention of buying.
It isn't okay to take all the stickers out of a book and stick them on all the pages of the book.
It isn't okay to copy all the information on Hawaii, LSAT, how to bake bread, etc. out of the book and leave it strewn all over. Libraries are better equipped for that and you already pay for them through your taxes, so use them.
(and I charge $12 an hour to babysit, so unless you wanna chip in on my hourly wage, I am not gonna watch your kid while you go shopping in the mall - yes, people do this. Are you one of them?)

Monday, September 15, 2008

My tears make me strong...

I cried a little at work yesterday when I saw the huge mess on the stage...not on the table...on the floor, on the benches, on the carpet...everywhere but the table.

How it is possible to tear the entire cover off a Star Wars pop-up book?! Could I do it? Even if I physically could, morally I would die. Were there any parents around?! How about a fellow bookseller *ahem* worthless older lady that works every Sunday when we're really busy and stands at the customer service desk reading the new People instead of doing her job *ahem* taking the time to straighten kids and pick up reshelves...let alone helping any customers that may be in that section.

I am totally jealous of my friend Beth who just moved to New York and works and a store in Brooklyn. She says that the leads in her store actually spend a majority of their time in their sections. AMAZING! They aren't covering the cafe and getting yelled at by snots that can't believe they don't know what to write on the friggin' cup when they order a "4 shot dry vanilla cap in a grande mug", or backing up the registers because the newly hired wretched lady is slower than molasses on a winter's day, they are doing what they do best...selling the books they love to sell. How novel...get it,'s a nerdy book joke. :P

Friday, September 5, 2008

Do you work here?

No. I'm just carrying around piles of books and pushing this cart full of them while wearing a nametag answering the portable phone in my pocket and scanning books with this expensive computer thing. Isn't that what you do at stores you don't work at?!

Monday, August 18, 2008

What exactly is happening in that wardrobe?!

standing at the Customer Services counter at work
Me: Hi, How can I help you?
20 something male customer: I'm looking for the Chronicles of Narnia.
Me: Sure, did you want the kid's one or the adult one? (referring to the cover art)
TSMC: Um...wait...(whispering) the adult one, like, dirty?!?
Me: No, it just has a different cover. (supressing laughter and trying not to pee myself)

Thanks, random guy, for the bright spot of my day!

Friday, August 15, 2008


to saying, "fuck it, I don't need this shit".


Do not ever sneak up behind me when I'm scanning books on a shelf and in the creepiest way possible squeezy-massage my shoulder to get my attention. Never ever. Even if you are dying or mute. There are plenty of other non-stalker ways to ask a question. You already abuse the products we sell, don't molest the staff. And since I already put up with the handsy manager on a daily basis, the next customer that doesn't respect my personal bubble of space will be knocked upside the head with whichever book I have in my hands. I'm scanning dictionaries next, so watch out.

Hey, New Kid

If you don't stop saying the title of every single book you scan before you put it on the shelf, you aren't going to last very long. Not because of your incompetance, but because it's very hard to deliver good customer service with your mouth stapled shut; it scares the kiddies.

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Breaking Dawn!!

So, we're only 2-ish days away from the release of Stephenie Meyer's new book (the 4th in the Twilight Saga). Being a true fanatic I can't wait for the release and the party we are having at the store. If you haven't read the books yet, do. You totally have time to read the first 3 before Friday night/Saturday. I'm sure I'll be done with Breaking Dawn by Sunday night. I'm so excited that even the brattiest of children (or their parents) can't ruin my good mood. Happy reading Twilighters! And I for one am hoping for Bella's happily forever after with Edward. Sorry Jake!

Friday, April 18, 2008

Do you guys sell chapstick?


5.2 Earthquake in....IOWA?!

Holy cow! Last night I was awoken by an earthquake! I live in the midwest, in Iowa...not exactly the seismic center of the U.S. Maybe the Hawkeye state was just California Dreamin'? Luckily there was very little damage.

Wednesday, April 2, 2008

I am a puppy-loving pigeon!

It's finally here! A new pigeon book by Mo Willems! We also have a new pigeon plush to go along with it! Highly recommended for readers of all ages.

I'm (not) sorry but we don't....

...carry every single book in the whole world in our store.
...have a pay phone anymore, get a cell phone already, it's 2008.
...accept Starbucks' Gift Cards because we are not a Starbucks.
...think you are buying that trashy romance novel to read to your class so you probably shouldn't use your educator discount to purchase it.
...let you check out books or buy back old books you don't want (unless you return them for store credit; then we'll take any piece of crap off your hands). anyone for incompetency.