Today a woman asked me...

...where our box of communal reading glasses was. Umm....we sell them if you'd like to purchase a pair to use while you read magazines in the cafe and then not put them back, I'll show you the display.

**MISSING**

One Thomas the Tank Engine Display Train

Distinguishing marks: Smiling face, blue train engine, the #1 painted on side of engine right next to "B&N" in large black Sharpie letters.

Last Seen: 9/23 - In the hands of a devil child heading into the ladies room with his equally evil mother and grandmother.

Current Whereabouts: Unknown.

If you have any information about this lost little engine, please e-mail.

It's beginning to look a lot like....Halloween

Then why do I have a shelf of Christmas books in the back already?!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wsq3Vhjg89s

I'm a sucker for things like that...

Excuse me, Sir?!

Don't drink the water. Seriously. One time, I saw an old man put his hand in one of the pitchers of free water (on the condiment bar in the cafe) and strain out the ice with his fingers and put the ice in his Arby's cup. Yuck. I'll never drink that water again.

I hate our plush.

Why does our store carry stuffed animals. Don't get me wrong; I love our Knuffle Bunnies and our Cordoroy Bears. But why do we have random cats and dogs? All that happens to them is they get drooled on and damaged out. That's gross. Imagine all the times they have been on the floor and how many times kids with colds kiss them and put them by their face and the snot that rubs off. GROSS! I wish we had really high shelves our plush was displayed on and customers had to ask for assisstance to get it down. Because ultimately, WE ARE NOT A PLAYGROUND OR TOY STORE! We are a bookstore. :p

I love this comic strip...It's spot on

Is that what I think it is?

Not too long ago I found a turd in the garbage can under the computer desk in kid's. That's right, a turd. Just a turd. No TP or wipe or Kleenex, nothing. It made the entire section of the store smell. My biggest question about the whole thing: Who picked it up and what did they use to do so?

We are not a library...

"Umm...Can you, like, copy this for me?"
"No. You can buy the book, but I cannot photocopy pages out of it for you."
"Ah...Why not?"
"Because the sign on our door says 'BookSELLERS' not 'Public Library'."
"Oh, what's the difference?"

This exchange happens every three months or so. C'mon people!

Please watch your children...

A bookstore is not a free babysitter. Trust me. I don't get paid nearly enough to watch your children destroy the displays I work very hard (maybe just hard) to create. Don't leave your kids in the store and go off shopping in the mall. I will call the police. I have before. It's neglect or endangerment or something. Just don't do it, okay?