Funniest Thing Ever.

Spaghetti Cat:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oMyHuCVaRaE

What exactly is happening in that wardrobe?!

standing at the Customer Services counter at work
Me: Hi, How can I help you?
20 something male customer: I'm looking for the Chronicles of Narnia.
Me: Sure, did you want the kid's one or the adult one? (referring to the cover art)
TSMC: Um...wait...(whispering)..is the adult one, like, dirty?!?
Me: No, it just has a different cover. (supressing laughter and trying not to pee myself)

Thanks, random guy, for the bright spot of my day!

thisclose

to saying, "fuck it, I don't need this shit".

DO. NOT. TOUCH. ME.

Do not ever sneak up behind me when I'm scanning books on a shelf and in the creepiest way possible squeezy-massage my shoulder to get my attention. Never ever. Even if you are dying or mute. There are plenty of other non-stalker ways to ask a question. You already abuse the products we sell, don't molest the staff. And since I already put up with the handsy manager on a daily basis, the next customer that doesn't respect my personal bubble of space will be knocked upside the head with whichever book I have in my hands. I'm scanning dictionaries next, so watch out.

Hey, New Kid

If you don't stop saying the title of every single book you scan before you put it on the shelf, you aren't going to last very long. Not because of your incompetance, but because it's very hard to deliver good customer service with your mouth stapled shut; it scares the kiddies.

Breaking Dawn!!

So, we're only 2-ish days away from the release of Stephenie Meyer's new book (the 4th in the Twilight Saga). Being a true fanatic I can't wait for the release and the party we are having at the store. If you haven't read the books yet, do. You totally have time to read the first 3 before Friday night/Saturday. I'm sure I'll be done with Breaking Dawn by Sunday night. I'm so excited that even the brattiest of children (or their parents) can't ruin my good mood. Happy reading Twilighters! And I for one am hoping for Bella's happily forever after with Edward. Sorry Jake!

Do you guys sell chapstick?

No.

5.2 Earthquake in....IOWA?!

Holy cow! Last night I was awoken by an earthquake! I live in the midwest, in Iowa...not exactly the seismic center of the U.S. Maybe the Hawkeye state was just California Dreamin'? Luckily there was very little damage.

I am a puppy-loving pigeon!

It's finally here! A new pigeon book by Mo Willems! We also have a new pigeon plush to go along with it! Highly recommended for readers of all ages.

I'm (not) sorry but we don't....

...carry every single book in the whole world in our store.
...have a pay phone anymore, get a cell phone already, it's 2008.
...accept Starbucks' Gift Cards because we are not a Starbucks.
...think you are buying that trashy romance novel to read to your class so you probably shouldn't use your educator discount to purchase it.
...let you check out books or buy back old books you don't want (unless you return them for store credit; then we'll take any piece of crap off your hands).
...fire anyone for incompetency.