LOLs

Hey everybody! It's been a really long time since I contributed to this blog but I felt like I needed to today, so here I am.

Today was Little Old Lady (LOL) day. Seriously. I don't know if they all came in on a bus together or something but every other customer I helped was a grandma-lady over 70 that had a list of books to find for themselves or their grandkids. And a grandpa-husband carrying bags looking for somewhere to sit down and take a snooze while their better half takes care of the shopping.

Every single list was written on paper that looked like it was from the Depression and, they were rationing it too. There was old lady cursive scrawled on every single available space of that tiny Post-it note that has no stick left because it has been in an ancient steno notebook at the bottom of your purse next to your old Kleenex and hard butterscotch candies FOREVER!

And I just have to say...statistically, not every grandchild in the world can be "bright" and "reading way above his/her level." There have to be some dull bulbs out there. I would much rather help someone find a book for a kid "who just likes the pictures" or "wants something short with some mazes or dot-to-dots in it." At least it is honest.

Last week I was taking a grandma back to kids and she said, "My grandson's really bright, he's really an advanced reader."

I said, "They--," and then I stopped myself. I was going to say, "They all are."

Let me put this out there, if you know a kid who would rather read a comic book or look at pictures of animals or play with one of those books that only exists so you can push a button and hear Spongebob/Cinderella/Dora/Elmo talk...send them my way...I have just the book for them.

Plus, if I sell it, all the other kids that "shop" at the store won't be able to drive me nuts with it!

Book crush

I have a new book crush on "Shelf Discovery: The Teen Classics We Never Stopped Reading" by Lizzie Skurnick. It's awesome.

http://www.lizzieskurnick.com/news/

Not even crickets.

Last night was great.  There were no children in the store after 8:00 p.m.  Today was the first day of school.  And then the heavens opened up and the angels sang, "HALLELUIA!"

I am not that jaded.  I am sad to see Summer go.  It is my favorite season.  And I think Summer is sad to go, it rained all day yesterday, which must have been Mother Nature crying that the kids would no longer be able to play outside in the sun all day.  Oh, wait...they spent all summer indoors at the bookstore playing, not reading...oh, nevermind.  Jaded it is!

And I still have a week before I go back to school.  Maybe she was just raining on their parade of the last day of summer...no matter, It was quiet at work and there were no messes to clean up before I left.

"So long sweet Summer....It's cold where you're going, I hope that your heart's always warm."

 - Dashboard Confessional "Age Six Racer"

Danger, Will Robinson.

Remember my rant about the dangers of the kids' section?  Let's add one more.

The other kids' lead caught a man masturbating in the section.  While watching children.  Yeah.

So now its happened.  Kids are NOT SAFE in the bookstore.  Please watch them!!  You need to watch your kids, dammit!

He ran away when she yelled at him so there were no police called.  A report was filed.  She said she wanted to throw a book at his head; I told her good thing she didn't, she probably would have been sued.

Next Time, I Won't Bother...

I got yelled at by a customer yesterday, it was awesome.

A little girl, little, like 2 years-old, was walking out of kids yelling "Mommy!  Where are you?"  I asked her if she was lost and got down on her level so she wasn't scared.  She couldn't tell me her mom's name or her own.  I called my manager.  He came over and we walked to the mall end of the store where the mall playground area is thinking she may have come from outside the store.  The little girl didn't see her so we went back to the customer service desk.  Customers keep walking past tilting their heads saying, "Oh no, is she lost?!"

At this point my manager says maybe we should wait for a parent to realize she is lost or call mall security soon.  We walk back into kids and a woman is off to the side.  I ask her if this is her daughter and she says "yes."  I tell her that she has been LOST for several minutes...the woman is shocked, or at least pretends to be.  I say something like, "Gotta keep an eye on the little ones!"

Now, I was annoyed.  I had been with the little girl for about 5 minutes and I think it is irresponsible to not know where your 2 year-old is for 5 minutes.  I get annoyed that people think the store is a safe place to let their kids run wild.  IT ISN'T.  Not only are there sharp edges to run into and benches to fall off of and when you are climbing shelves or fake ladders I freak out that there isn't an adult around to discipline.  

Let's face it...I would have never gotten away with behavior like that.  

If I had torn a book, my parents would have bought it and we were going home, never to return to that store.  

If I had taken all the stickers out of a book and stuck them all over the table and on other, non-sticker books, my parents would have bought them all, peeled off the stickers and taken me home, with a spanking.

If I was climbing on the fake, non-weight bearing ladder that Frog & Toad climb on, I would have been yanked down and spanked and then we would go home.

I'm pretty sure if I was missing for more than a moment, my parents would have done the frantic run up and down the aisles yelling my name; and when they found me, they would tell me not to wander off, and we might even go home.

Essentially, I was (and probably still am) more afraid of my parents than the police, I would have rather gone to jail at the age of 8 for tearing a book or breaking something in a store than face the consequences of my parents.  And my parents weren't even strict, but they PARENTED.

So I was annoyed and I'm sure it was in my voice.

Anyway...after mother and daughter were reunited, I told my boss that mom didn't even know her daughter was lost (which is very common).  Then I went on my 15 minute break and stood in the line for a cup of coffee.  The woman yelled at my boss, and then saw me in line and came and yelled at me...She said it was "inappropriate" to imply she didn't know where her child was (even though she didn't know).  She said she was "right there" (even though she wasn't).  She said she watched her kids (even though she wasn't).  See the pattern.  I fought right back and said she was lost for several minutes and was calling for her (most parents hear "Mommy!" and look to at least see if it's their kid).  I told her I was concerned about her safety and THAT IS PART OF MY JOB.  The woman said she was with the 6 year-old who was reading to her.  Was that supposed to support her in the argument or me?  I told her that was nice, but the little one was scared and calling for her.  I did NOT apologize, but you can be sure, the next time a kid appears to be lost (which I hate because I can vividly remember feeling lost as a kid) I will look the other way until asked to do otherwise.  I don't need to be reprimanded for doing my job and caring about a kid.  F. F. F. FML!

Why are my knees wet?!

So, I walk into kids and see a pile of stuffed animals.  Not that unusual, annoying, but sorta common.  I kneel down in front of them and start putting them back on the shelves they call home.  After I have separated Dora & Diego from the Backyardigans and Wonder Pets, I realize my knees feel wet.  Something has leaked through my pants from the carpet and my knees are wet...hmmm...IT'S URINE!  PEE!  Someone has pissed on the carpet and instead of cleaning it up or telling a bookseller, they covered it up with our stuffed animals...DISGUSTING!

I don't know who did the hiding, hopefully it was a kid who was embarrassed and not an asshole parent, but it is was a kid...WHERE THE EFF WERE HIS/HER PARENTS!?

I tell ya.  FML, F this job.

I had to go home, shower and change.  That should never happen.  I should never encounter human waste.  Puke.

IT HAPPENED!!!

I got the question!  Okay, not the exact question, but someone asked for "Ballet Shoes" on Sunday!  Maybe it was the fact that one of the cable networks was running "You've Got Mail" back to back, but it was pretty neat.  

Customer:  Do you have "Ballet Shoes" and "Dancing Shoes?"

Me:  You mean by Noel Streatfeild?

Customer: Yes.

Me:  Sure, right over here.  (Me in my head:  OH MY GOD!!!  YIPPEEEEE!)

Restoring my faith in bookselling.

I watched "You've Got Mail" last night.  I find that I need to watch it every so often so I don't march into my boss' office and put in my 2 weeks.  It reminds me that kid's books are awesome and that I would never work anywhere else in the store.

Plus, it is sad when the store closes and in the current economical situation, I need a job.  I should just be happy I have a paycheck and deal with obnoxious kids, rude parents, jerk-face bosses and incompetent coworkers. 

I also get some satisfaction from trying to ID the books in the background when they are in the bookstore, Shop Around the Corner & Fox Books.  Plus, I would like to think that I am not as clueless as that guy who doesn't know what the "shoe books" are.  I think I know my section pretty well.

Yesterday, I even helped a woman find a book and all she knew was that it was a novel for kids that won an award and the word "green" was in the title.  It was "Green Glass Sea" by Klages.  It won the Scott O'Dell award.  I didn't even have to use the computer.

Best. Question. Ever.

"Do you have a pooping section in the kid's section?"

Sadly...we do, but we call it "Growing Up"

And the winner is...

The new ALA winners were announced today...I haven't read any of them, but I own "Savvy" by Ingrid Law, which got a Newbery honor.  I often recommend it for the kids that like Harry Potter.

It makes me wonder a little, though.  Do you think Neil Gaiman was awarded the Newbery award just for this new book, or is it more of a lifetime kinda honor.  Has anyone read "The Graveyard Book" and can honestly say it is his best ever?!  Let me know.